Last night,
as I lay down on my bed after a tiring party, (which had banged my head out with
such loud songs) a pinch of
silence had struck all around the room. That’s
when a soft voice whispered in my ear. "Hey! Are you
listening”, the voice asked.
"It’s
been a long time you haven't talked to yourself, it's been a long time you haven't spent a day
in solitude, enjoyed your own company! Isn’t it? So, how have you been all these days?"
I was
astonished! Like actually, am I the same girl I was, a year ago? Lost in her own world of thoughts, books used
to be her only companions during high school days. I didn't know what that voice was, where it had came from, but one thing was quite
clear, it had made me realize, how much I was missing it all!
Before coming
to college, maybe I didn't know what actually life is, what adventure actually
meant, and how class nuisance, long chatter with friends, or aimless talks
could be so much fun or
maybe I did. This doesn't
mean I didn't use to be happy during those days, I did. I was satisfied with
all I had. I might use to get all such fun through books, through solitude, being with my own, or having
a friend circle as small as three people (which included me too).
Back then, I
couldn’t gulp up the
fact like how people were
able to find enjoyment and entertainment in hangouts, partying, going movie
with a group of ten (like seriously! isn't that too much of human exposure.)
But
this girl with almost no social circle had came a long way. Yes! College had
finally transformed me
from being a quiet, nerd kid to a socially active, adventure loving, and the
one 'liked by all' kind of person with so many friends. From an introverted kid who used to
hate gatherings, to being known as a 'party animal', from fearing to
step out of the
room (so that I didn't have
to face people) to always being ready to accompany anyone for outing, from being a book worm to
facing the realities of life practically, one year in college had changed
everything.
But today
when I ponder upon these 'so called' changes I've gone through, my mind forces
me to think whether these changes were good or bad? Whether coming out of my nutshell in college really had
a positive impact on my personality or not?
Sometimes
being around with so many people is fun, those small talks, meeting and knowing
other people, hanging around with the ones with whom you can be yourself, who
understands you, cracking lame jokes, that stomach aching laughter for hours, late night parties or unending talks
on stupid and random topics. But the worst part comes when after being so
habitual of 'the others' being around you, you're left alone. There comes a time,
when everyone in your
great big social circle is busy and you cannot get that required 'energy' needed for your well working. And that's when
you're forced to think upon your behavior, the changes which you've gone
through (either by choice or voice.) Was it really worth to share everything with people? Was it really
worth to expect so many things from others? Was it really even worth a 'change'?
I don't know. It's always said that 'You should change for better'. But the
question is 'better' for whom? 'Better'
for this society (to become more acceptable to it) or 'better' for yourself? I guess the latter one goes with the flow.
You know change is good, but only when it is for yourself, it is
quite cool to come out of your nutshell, but only when it sounds cool to you not to your friends or society.
Because people expect, and
their expectations flip as fast as any cricket match! Once they'll like you for
who you are, and the other day they'll hate you for being the same. In fact there are so many
groups of people with millions
of conflicting ideas about how an ideal person should be! Then how many you'll care about? That
would be terrible indeed. (Don’t even try!)
So just be
yourself. If you like yourself then the world would too. Be quiet, be
outspoken, nerd, introvert, ambivert, extrovert, creep, lazy, egoistic (even an asshole), be like anything you want to! But just be proud of who you are and the world will love you! <3
